Saturday, June 30, 2012

Beginning Your Day Clean


Ooohh! Something stink...
That's right and it could be you. Seems today some people don't understand the fundamentals of washing their own ass. "You mean to tell me, you feel comfortable leaving the house with just a shot of cologne or perfume." Well, you dead wrong. Follow these steps to assure that you not only smell clean, you are clean!!!!

Morning Bath

Good morning! Get up and wash your ass..

1. Go ahead and take a quick piss and shit to get all that overnight waste out of your bladder and your stomach.  This will assure that you won't have any excess piss and shit coming out after you have cleaned yourself.

2. Turn the water on in the shower and make sure steam is coming from it! No one can get clean in luke warm or cold water. That just stablize the current oils attained to hold in funk. You need HOT water to help melt away that top layer. But before you get yo ass in...

3. You should have no less than two wash cloths to bath with. One for head and face and the other for your body. Ain't nothing like washing your face with your ass towel. You may have remnince of shit crums on that towel. Keep the towels in different colors so you can know the difference.


4. Use moisterizing bar or body wash soap and a towel. You not in a soap commercial so scrub your ass. Some people think they can squirt body wash in they hand and rub it all over they body and rinse. "CLEAN" Bullshit! Get that towel under and in tween them folds and crevaces and scrub that second layer off to assure your cleanliness.

5. Make sure you clean your dick/pussy-booty hole good twice. Fellas: Grab that pole and clean that duck butter. Make sure you pay extra attention to the dick head due to the entrapment of duck butter. Ladies: Pull them lips open and get that lil film off that thang. Please get that shit out your ass with your finger. "Do It....It's your ass"

6. Rinse, get out and dry off!!! After you dry off put some baby powder on your body and tween your legs. Put on some deoderant. Wrap that towel around you and get in front of the sink and wash your face." (Once again your are not in a commercial so tap water splashed in your face with two hands does not get your face clean.)" Get that face towel and clean your eye boogers, get them nose boogers, and them sugar daddy's out your ear. Clean behind them ears because any body part that folds collect dirt and odor. Don't you wanna hear and smell how clean you are?

7. Now that you are clean you can start your day and feel confident that you are clean. Good hygiene opens doors when you meet people and your confident and smell good.

***This is delivered with all seriousness and also to extract humor.***